Saboteur! (Part 1 of 4) - Introduction

At Your Own Risk

Enter, if you will, into my innermost thoughts:

Candace comments innocently, perhaps even making a constructive suggestion to me.

Me:   What?! Are you kidding me? Seriously?  How dare you say that?  What's your problem?!  I've got it under control.  I know I'm right here.  Anyways, who do you think you are?  It seems like I can't do anything right - why don't you just give it a rest?! 

Such explosive thoughts, unfortunately, don't often remain thoughts for very long.  Whether such sentiments are ever spoken, a harsh tone usually evidences itself despite the "window dressing" we may place on our words.  Or a stern glance.  Maybe a defensive demeanor.  Perhaps, silence.  Angry silence.  Bitter silence.   

Everywhere I look...

 

Such situations can arise everywhere for us all: driving in the car, around the dinner table, getting the kids ready for church, laying in bed at night before going to sleep. and so on.  Chances are, you can probably relate to this.  

Most certainly, I see this plainly in the marriages I observe around me - friend, foe or foreigner.  Such travesty removes the joy of marriage, thwarting the intimacy and unity designed and intended of God for this most foundational relationship in life.  

Stopping Me In My Tracks

My own marriage has certainly suffered under such attitudes.  You see, somewhere along the way, I began to believe a lie (and act accordingly) that my wife was at times "out to get me" - a saboteur against me, thwarting my every effort and action. Somewhere, a disconnect occurred as I started to believe that my wife harbored ill intentions towards me. 

In every statement, without truly examining and thinking about it, I assumed she was trying to hurt me, to accuse me.  I was defensively on edge.  Practically speaking, she couldn't say anything without me exploding. 

After months of this recurring battle, I praise my Lord that He got through to me through my wife's gentle but broken pleas as she shared with me, "I've tried to be sensitive to you - but now I'm just walking on egg shells and it's still not working! What am I to do?  You weren't this way in the past.  What's going on inside?"  I was stopped cold.  She was right.  What was wrong?

Back to the Lord

As I examined my heart and the testimony of the past months, my heart truly became consumed with remorse and conviction.   I had been treating my wife as an enemy, as if she were out to get me.  But why? 

A Starting Point

While many Scriptures could be referenced here (regarding bitterness, godly communication, thought life etc.), let me share with you the passages that God has been bringing to my attention as He convicts  and transforms my own sinful attitudes and actions.

I had become disconnected from my wife because I had become disconnected from my Lord and Savior - the only One who can truly keep a marriage from disintegrating and disconnecting as we had.   Just as Titus 2:12 assures us, God has begun to teach me, exposing my error and renewing my mind to His perfect ways.  

Through these next several postings, I will be sharing with you my "schooling."  Primarily, we will examine God's "good pleasure" through which He has been reprogramming my heart and mind.  Only as our relationship with the Jesus Christ flourishes can our relationships with others be nourished, reinforced and blossom. 

It Takes Time

This didn't happen over night; such a downward spiral takes time - months, years even.  The longer the time we harbor such incorrect views, the more damage is done.  Take heart, my brother or sister, if you too are under going similar "continuing education" with the Lord.  

The process  may be painful, difficult and long - but the power of God indeed is quick, alive and sufficient for the journey (Heb. 4:12; 2 Cor. 12:9).  Would you pray for me as I submit myself to the Lord for His work to be done?  Will you join me on your knees of submission as well in the path of godliness and Christ-likeness in our relationships? 

May we truly see who the true saboteur is in this world - Satan, the masquerading angel of light and father of lies (2 Cor. 11:14; John 8:44)!