Even If...

The following lyric is taken from Brit Nicole's debut album (a Christian singer):

You are strong enough to take my dreams.  Come and give them wings.  Lord with You, there's nothing I cannot do (from Set the World on Fire).

A year or so later, Miss Nicole released an amazingly heartfelt and deeply personal song on her followup album:

Even if my dreams have died, and even if I don't survive, I'll still worship You with all my life (from Have Your Way). 

 I've been a fan of this singer for quite some time, yet the correlation between these two songs never hit me until the past several months (I was actually walking along the beach with my iPod!).  Obviously, it seems as if something major has happened - or perhaps not happened - from the exciting and hopeful declaration of the first song and the broken yet peaceful resolve of the second.

Probably just like me, you can truly relate to this sequence, to these emotions, to this struggle.  I share this song with you for your encouragement.  It is a fantastic reminder of the response God desires of me always, whether in times of great "success" or in the loneliness of the "valley."

Soon enough, I'll join you again to share with you my own "even if" story...I'll be looking forward to it.

Danger at Every Turn (Session #4)

It's hard to believe, but our time has drawn to a close - at least for this current series!  I have been so challenged as I've studied these things that are so near and dear to my heart.  Greater yet, my marriage has been strengthened as my wife and I have been seeking to "put to practice" many of these principles.  I leave you all with the encouragement of the Apostle Paul, specifically applied towards our home lives:

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before (Phil. 3:13).

Let's grow together again soon, okay?

In Him,
Justin

Along the Journey - Session #3

Good morning friends!  Though it's been a little late this week getting this sermon uploaded, it is finally done.

I must admit, this lesson, above others, is far more difficult to teach on in terms of marriage, personally speaking.  So many already have loaded ideas, many of them due to adverse, difficult and ungodly experiences in their past.  My intent in this study is to share the freeing truth of God's Word, revealing the hallowed place of the wife within the marriage relationship.  If you have any questions or if you are uncertain about anything I'm saying, please talk to me.  I'm more than happy to clarify myself and help out wherever possible.

Once again, let's try to get some good discussion going, shall we?

Justin



For access to the .PDF handouts, follow this link to the streaming site and click on .PDF:
 http://sermon.net/goingbeneathitall/sermonid/2785946

Taking the First Step (Session #2)

How are you doing today?  I'm so thankful that you've chosen to spend some more time with me, learning together God's plans and provisions for building our home, first and foremost through our marriages.

As you listen this week, be reminded that I have been and am praying for you!  The matters of your heart and how you live your life are so valuable, precious and important to God particularly in this most intimate of relationship - whether you are not married though preparing for the future possibility, a newly wed, have many years of "service" under your belt or have been through a terribly painful divorce - God has truth for us in each of these situations and circumstances.

If you have any questions or just need some encouragement, please don't hesitate to talk to me.

Without further pomp and circumstance, let's get to growing:

http://sermon.net/goingbeneathitall/sermonid/2778274

P.S. How accessible are the PDF links for the handouts?  Should I find a better delivery method or medium to get these out?  Let me know.  Thanks.

The Ultimate Love Story

REVIEW: Gen. 3:8; 2 Cor. 4:16; Acts 17:28

READ:  Think of the most romantic movie you’ve ever watched or book you’ve ever read.  Ladies, you may be swooning at this very minute just thinking of the passionate, heroic valor of the man of your dreams fighting to win the favor of your heart!  Men, you may be smiling silently as you imagine rescuing the beautiful heroine from danger, inviting her to join your side in adventurous living.  These love stories contain passion, pursuit, and great perseverance.  Would you be surprised to discover that God’s Word, the Bible, in its most basic terms is a love story of such epic proportions?

In eternity past, God, a holy trinity, was in fellowship and communion within Himself (John 1:1-2).  As such, He chose out a special group of people, the Body of Christ, to share in a special relationship with Himself “in love” (Eph. 1:4).  He also determined the “fellowship of [this] mystery” before the world was ever formed (Eph. 3:9).  In the timeline of Scripture, before any physical act is recorded or completed, God has established both the nature of this Book and all the history that is soon to be set in motion.  It is rooted, focuses upon and emanates from love and relationship!   

From this point forward, we discover the creation of Adam and Eve as we’ve already briefly considered. The annals of history then chronicle the love story of God seeking another chosen out people, the Nation of Israel and the rise and fall of their relationship.  God’s passion and pursuit of them is relentless, ultimately sending them the fulfillment of His many promises – Jesus Christ.  Due to Israel’s rejection of such a gift, God, in great pain and despair, temporarily set aside the “apple of His eye”, allowing His original desire for love and relationship to be fulfilled through the Body of Christ. 

It is here we stand today.  Col. 1:27-28 reveals furthermore that the riches of this same mystery are also expressed in deep and intimate relationship with Christ.  So much more is to be said the passionate pursuit of God towards His children, particularly in the Age of Grace.  Yet, for our purposes here, it is only as we recognize and open our hearts and minds to a vibrant, dynamic, passionate and intimately personal relationship with Jesus Christ, that the true source and fuel for finding and living out our own “love story” with our spouse can come to pass.   

Far too many of our marriages lack passion because we’ve never encountered the passion of Jesus Christ for His Church (Rom. 5; Eph. 1).  We lack intimacy for our hearts have not truly entered into rich communion with our Savior as God has intended, desired and afforded us through Christ. 

REFLECT:

·       How has my walk with God been lately?  Am I making full use of all I’ve been given and all that has been made available to me in Christ Jesus?

·       What does my marriage look like when I am walking in intimacy with God?  When I’m not? 

RESPOND:

·       Though intimacy with God is a deeply personal endeavor, we can always encourage our spouse in their relationship with their God.  Most definitely we can always help our spouse and improve our relationship as we ourselves seek Him more and more.  Today, secure extra time out of your busy schedule to spend with your Savior.  Become better acquainted, personally speaking, with the desires of His heart.

Finding Your Way Home (Session #1)

I am so excited about all the Lord has been doing lately!  Indeed, Almighty God has been working both in my heart and my wife's heart throughout these past weeks.  This being said, I am equally excited to share with you many of the truths God has been using to awaken our hearts and marriage.  

Truly, our home is a work in progress.  Over the next month, I desire to share with you "the tip of the iceberg" that God has been teaching us over the years and most recently.  I hope and pray that you are challenged and encouraged.  

To access this series, click on the link below: 

Finding Your Way Home (Session #1)

You can also find these materials at anytime from the blog by clicking on the "Streaming Media" tab beneath this blog's heading.  On each of these sermons, you are free to download, link and distribute as much as you'd like - in fact, please do - let's spread His wonderful truth to as many as will hear!   Also, be sure to download the notes in PDF format to help you grow and to also share with others.  

Throughout the week, following each sermon, check back for more devotionals to help encourage us in this pursuit.  I'll be praying for you until we meet again!

In His Love, 

Justin

P.S.

If you have any technical difficulties, just let me know and I'll do my best to help you out.  

What's in a greeting?

“Paul, and Silas, and Timothy, unto the church of the Thessalonians which is in God the Father and in the Lord Jesus Christ: Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ.” – 1 Thessalonians 1:1

First Things First

The Church “of the living God, the pillar and ground of truth” (1 Tim. 3:15) is settled firmly in both God the Father and Jesus Christ.  Flowing from this place of deep security and confidence, we therefore have been extended grace and peace, once again, from both God the Father and Jesus Christ.   Both of these proclamations respond to the very core of many of the deepest questions our hearts ponder:

• “Am I going to be ok?”
• “Will I ever make it through this?”
• “Are you angry with me, God?”

“Peace, my child” He speaks to us.

• “Am I worth anything?”
• “How could God ever truly love me – I mean ALL of me?”

“Grace, my son.”  Such gentle words, often overlooked, bear a powerful message in our hearts and lives.

Though not the purpose of our brief time together here, we must, however, first recognize the powerful, transformative meaning in the message of these two words.  Our current investigation then will explore a different angle of this verse while building on the foundation of these precious truths. 

How many times do I have to tell you?!

Regarding personal matters, particularly in how I view myself, I often have a difficult time accepting genuine compliments and affirmations from others.  My wife’s praise of me falls upon highly defensed ears.  I have been known to retort, “You have to say that; you’re my wife!”    As I get to know others, I recognize this is quite common and familiar territory for us all.  These messages, such as grace and peace, speak the truth to the fearful, lie-ridden insecurities we bare upon our burdened backs.  We need them, yet we bristle against them.

At times, it may become a little easier to accept and believe these affirmations when we hear them repeatedly.  Our receptivity soars, however, as these encouragements are repeatedly given to us by multiple sources – parents, siblings, friends – brothers and sisters in the Lord. 

Pay Attention

With this in mind, reread our key verse above.  How many sources are offering this wonderful, affirming message of grace and peace?  Count again.  I bet you there are more than you think!

Five.  Yes, that’s right:  The Father, Jesus Christ and their vessels, our fellow brethren – Paul, Silas and Timothy.  This should grab our attention – “LISTEN UP!  This is important.  In fact, this is essential!”  The message of God’s grace and peace in your life takes such priority in God’s agenda that He literally bombards us with it – that is, if we’re receptive to it. 

Bringing It Home

Certainly the grace and peace of “the living God” actively unleashed in our lives will dramatically alter the dynamics of our home, yet I find further encouragement and challenge in this verse.  

Just as critical as these truths have been to your heart, so many have yet to hear them, much less accept them, believe them and let them rule in their heart of hearts!  Just as Paul, Silas and Timothy played a part in your growth, we too have an opportunity to join their efforts, being His vessels of grace and peace. 

Most importantly, I ask you:  How are you being a vessel and messenger of God’s grace in your home?   Remember, we are presently considering a simple salutation – a greeting.  How do I greet those in my family?  Does a peaceful, grace-filled demeanor emanate from me?  Furthermore, am I allowing Jesus Christ to live through me?

Of course the entire world needs the crucial message of salvation offered through the Cross of Christ, to which Paul commissions us as ambassadors (2 Cor. 5:18, 20).  Our testimony, living in His peace and grace, provides a great tool in the mighty hand of God in proclaiming this message to all.  However, at the same time, God throughout all of Scripture in all dispensations places great burden and emphasis on these things first being taught, lived out and experienced in the home first!

He asks husbands to love their wives just as He has loved us through Jesus Christ (Eph. 5:25-28).  While we are commanded elsewhere to walk in love towards those that are “without”, God has worthily placed a great impetus upon the relationships within the most intimate of relationships, the home.  Husbands.  Wives.  Brothers. Sisters.  Parents.  Children.

Let’s Get to Meddling

The next time you walk in the door – mind you, it has been a very long day and a bad one at that – may the God of all Victory impress upon your heart the urgent necessity of being truly immersed in His grace and peace so that you may in turn offer it to your family. 

Dad’s, I know it would be fantastic to retreat into your Man Cave and to completely disengage from the world, ignoring your wife’s burdened and frustrated heart (or at very least placing it on the back burner).  I know it would be easy to dismiss your little girl’s panic-like attack regarding the sudden and mysterious “theft” of her favorite lip gloss (I mean, seriously, haven’t you bought her like 20 of those things?!).  It’s painfully too simple and quick of a fix to push away the boys, telling them to go wrestle with one another, rather than to engage them and invest your energy into them.  

Let me push your buttons a little further.  I’ll be direct:  Next time you walk into your home, may it be as a vessel – a minister – of God’s grace and peace, just as Paul, Silas and Timothy were.   In the manner of their example, may you begin with something so simple as a genuine, heartfelt greeting.  Don’t stop there.  The light never stops emanating from the beacon of a lighthouse.  God assuredly gives us plenty of fuel that our light may never stop shining in our home, leading and directing the hearts of our wives and children. 

So, I ask you, “What’s in your greeting?”  


Taken from A Treasury for the Home

Saboteur! (Part 2 of 4) - "God Desires"

I've Needed This

Where has the time gone?!  Almost one month later, and I'm now just posting "Part 2" - shouldn't the series be finished by now?  According to Justin, attempted-controller-of-all-things-pertaining-to-his-world, the answer is yes; ideally, the series would be complete, full of wit and wisdom, waxing poetic and elegant, cleverly packaged and awaiting mass praise and adoration from my newly established reader-base of thousands.

However, as a dear sister in the Lord of mine has said so many times before, "God had other plans."  He always does, thankfully.  As it turns out, unsurprisingly, this change of direction and lapse in time has been exactly what my heart - and marriage - have needed.

Do You Ever Get Caught Up?

As a writer - or actually in about everything I do - it is extremely easy for me to get caught up in the form and function of my task while skewing the Central Figure of it all, Jesus Christ.  While I've drafted numerous copies of this posting, each has not satisfied me.  I was focusing on function and form again.  I had to remove myself from the process of writing to return to my original purpose - my personal growth in understanding God's "good pleasure" and how that translates into my marriage relationship.

The Traveling Post-It Note

This entire series' outline has been roughly sketched out upon a neon orange Post-It note for many weeks now.  From my Bible cover to passage after passage, it has softly clung to numerous pages of Scripture, traveling with me through my daily devotions and studies, an intended reminder of the lessons God has been teaching me.

Despite this neon sign blazing before my eyes, I so quickly grow accustomed and blind to the thick-lined text scribbled by a green Sharpie marker.  I overlook the very truths that God has used as a turning point in my walk with Him.

Complete Relapse?

Somewhere along this journey, I had begun to regress into the old ruts of my previous thinking and habits, though thankfully and with much praise, I had not completely relapsed.  As I finally turned my blind eye to the Light of God's Word in these same passages that had convicted my heart weeks before, I was convicted of my ungodly attitudes once again while I was nourished and comforted to an even greater extent than before.

Now, if you will, let me share with you the beginning of God's "good pleasure" towards us -His desires.

The Most Comforting News

For some reason, just as I can easily lose focus and understanding of my wife's intentions towards me, I can lose grip upon precious truths from Scripture, assuring me of God's good intentions towards us, His children.  So many people today, confused by conflicted and confused, well meaning Christians trying to make sense of His Word, live according to the notion that God, "the Big Guy Upstairs" is out to get them, squashing them at every and any wrong turn, a celestial Judge Wapner of sorts.  Not only does this bring the Holy, Holy, Holy, Almighty God down to man's level, it stands in direct contradiction to what Scripture teaches us, particularly in Paul's epistle.  Let's read:

"[God the Father] having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will"   (Eph. 1:5)

My wife and I, unable to have children yet after 6 and a half years of marriage, have heavily discussed the idea of adoption.  Regardless of the natural offspring the Lord may bless us with, we would still like to adopt a child some day.  What better picture of godly love than to take the financial and legal actions necessary to take a child, who is not yours, and give them the same rights, care and love as your own child, to allow them to carry on your name - for this is exactly what God has done for those who have placed their faith and trust in the shed blood of Jesus Christ.  

Former "children of wrath" (Eph. 2:3) transformed into "children on God" (Rom. 8:16), all because of God's "good pleasure".  This is what He wants for us.  He desires us.  It is His will.  Hallelujah!  Do I really have a reason to doubt Him?  I think not...

But Wait...There's More!

In the tradition of the great genre of info-mercials, there really is so much more to our adoption and life in Christ.  He doesn't merely adopt us and throw us in the back closet, but rather, He places us on a pedestal, equating us with His favored, only son, Jesus Christ (Rom. 8:17).  Even further, He doesn't just leave us to our own devices to figure out this new life He's afforded us:

"Having made known unto us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He hath purposed in Himself." (Eph. 1:9)

He wants to develop a relationship, intimate and deeply personal - life altering, in fact - with each of us.  It is His "good pleasure" for us to unwrap the multi-faceted jewels of truth in His Word.  In context, we come to understand that part of the "mystery of His will" is in  identifying what God is doing today - operating according to His grace alone apart from the Law (Gal. 3:24-25; Eph. 2:8-9).  As we are able to unfold God's plan for all the ages and better understand His written Word, the Bible, we are able to draw even closer - in freedom (Gal. 5:1) and truth (Eph. 4:21) - to our Abba, Father as He daily sustains us, transforms us and enables us to do His will.  

Take a Step Back

As we've discovered together, God holds good intentions towards all of man, but particularly towards His children.  As His child, you are adopted into His family having been given a new name - joint heir with Jesus Christ; you are given continual and sustained direction from God likewise, as a result of His good pleasure and desires.  What power and freedom this gives the once cowering enemy of God!  What confidence and strength He has given us!

Reflecting upon these truths, I return to my original situation - my wife's intentions.  I realize that no matter what, even if my wife's intentions are ill towards me - AND THEY'RE NOT FOR EVEN A SECOND - it doesn't matter!  My God's intentions towards me are perfect and "good."  As I bear this in mind, taking it to heart, I am challenged by my Father to 

"walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given Himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savor" (Eph. 5:2)

 Because of how He has and continues to love me, I can in turn live in that same love towards those around me, regardless of their intentions.  Remember, we were all once enemies of God with horrible intentions towards Him (Eph. 2:1-3) and He loved us anyways.  

Candace, my bride, I desire to serve you and honor you always, just as our Father loves us.  I thank you, beyond this, that you truly do have good intentions towards me.  I so greatly appreciate your sweet spirit, gracious, giving heart, patient attitude with me and your continued efforts and work to build up our marriage and family.  You most certainly are not a "saboteur" but rather the solution for me!  I love you.

What About You?

I have many people approach me regarding their home life, "My spouse just doesn't even try or care any longer.."  My heart is burdened for you.  Loneliness is difficult; so is the process of life change and victory!  My encouragement to you is to take some time - yes turn your computer off, put my blog away - and take a mini-retreat in your heart and mind with the Lord.  

To seek change and breakthrough, we must always examine ourselves.  Where are you at with the Lord?  What do your intentions look like?  Bitterness, pain and anger easily morph our desires and attitudes.  Believe me, I know.  Reread this Scriptures.  Seek out others.  Reflect upon them.  Ask God to allow this reality in Christ to seep deeply into your soul.  Most assuredly, He can and will transform your own attitudes and intentions to a strengthened servant, able to love and serve your loved one, despite their intentions, reflecting and glorifying the fantastic love of God.  

Until we meet again, I'll be praying for you.  Won't you pray for me?  Thank you.  

Saboteur! (Part 1 of 4) - Introduction

At Your Own Risk

Enter, if you will, into my innermost thoughts:

Candace comments innocently, perhaps even making a constructive suggestion to me.

Me:   What?! Are you kidding me? Seriously?  How dare you say that?  What's your problem?!  I've got it under control.  I know I'm right here.  Anyways, who do you think you are?  It seems like I can't do anything right - why don't you just give it a rest?! 

Such explosive thoughts, unfortunately, don't often remain thoughts for very long.  Whether such sentiments are ever spoken, a harsh tone usually evidences itself despite the "window dressing" we may place on our words.  Or a stern glance.  Maybe a defensive demeanor.  Perhaps, silence.  Angry silence.  Bitter silence.   

Everywhere I look...

 

Such situations can arise everywhere for us all: driving in the car, around the dinner table, getting the kids ready for church, laying in bed at night before going to sleep. and so on.  Chances are, you can probably relate to this.  

Most certainly, I see this plainly in the marriages I observe around me - friend, foe or foreigner.  Such travesty removes the joy of marriage, thwarting the intimacy and unity designed and intended of God for this most foundational relationship in life.  

Stopping Me In My Tracks

My own marriage has certainly suffered under such attitudes.  You see, somewhere along the way, I began to believe a lie (and act accordingly) that my wife was at times "out to get me" - a saboteur against me, thwarting my every effort and action. Somewhere, a disconnect occurred as I started to believe that my wife harbored ill intentions towards me. 

In every statement, without truly examining and thinking about it, I assumed she was trying to hurt me, to accuse me.  I was defensively on edge.  Practically speaking, she couldn't say anything without me exploding. 

After months of this recurring battle, I praise my Lord that He got through to me through my wife's gentle but broken pleas as she shared with me, "I've tried to be sensitive to you - but now I'm just walking on egg shells and it's still not working! What am I to do?  You weren't this way in the past.  What's going on inside?"  I was stopped cold.  She was right.  What was wrong?

Back to the Lord

As I examined my heart and the testimony of the past months, my heart truly became consumed with remorse and conviction.   I had been treating my wife as an enemy, as if she were out to get me.  But why? 

A Starting Point

While many Scriptures could be referenced here (regarding bitterness, godly communication, thought life etc.), let me share with you the passages that God has been bringing to my attention as He convicts  and transforms my own sinful attitudes and actions.

I had become disconnected from my wife because I had become disconnected from my Lord and Savior - the only One who can truly keep a marriage from disintegrating and disconnecting as we had.   Just as Titus 2:12 assures us, God has begun to teach me, exposing my error and renewing my mind to His perfect ways.  

Through these next several postings, I will be sharing with you my "schooling."  Primarily, we will examine God's "good pleasure" through which He has been reprogramming my heart and mind.  Only as our relationship with the Jesus Christ flourishes can our relationships with others be nourished, reinforced and blossom. 

It Takes Time

This didn't happen over night; such a downward spiral takes time - months, years even.  The longer the time we harbor such incorrect views, the more damage is done.  Take heart, my brother or sister, if you too are under going similar "continuing education" with the Lord.  

The process  may be painful, difficult and long - but the power of God indeed is quick, alive and sufficient for the journey (Heb. 4:12; 2 Cor. 12:9).  Would you pray for me as I submit myself to the Lord for His work to be done?  Will you join me on your knees of submission as well in the path of godliness and Christ-likeness in our relationships? 

May we truly see who the true saboteur is in this world - Satan, the masquerading angel of light and father of lies (2 Cor. 11:14; John 8:44)!

 

Talk It Through Twice - Psalm 142:1-3

1 I cried unto the Lord with my voice; with my voice unto the Lord did I make my supplication.s2 I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble.3 When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path. In the way wherein I walked have they privily laid a snare for me. (Psalm 142:1-3)

Talk, Talk, Talk...

Talking is simply a part of life.  We must talk with all sorts of people on numerous levels throughout each and every day from our spouse to our children to our parents to the cashier to the doctor to the...(you get the point). Depending on our job's specialty and demands by the time we get home, we may not feel like talking much to anyone.  

In my studies and understanding on a broad (and very generalized) scale, I find that, although this is indeed a universal plague, men are most often more grievously "stricken" with such a fatigued disposition.  Countless children have grown up in silence because Dad was too busy or tired to talk to them.  Innumerable wives have endured silent stares or damagingly worse angry outbursts in their failed attempts to connect with their "other half."  

I Know All Too Well...

I understand this struggle, for I myself, am indeed a man afflicted with the same. Perhaps you are too.  May these words encourage you in your home life.  Perhaps you are on the opposite side of things, a recipient of the un-cozy quietness.  Take heart, for these words are meant for you as well.  

How then can the same passage of Scripture comfort and encourage both parties, you ask?  These truths from the living, active and powerful Word of God exhort both parties to the same course of action.  At its writing, David, recognized by the world as only a young boy, a usurper of the Crown of Israel, was fleeing from his predecessor who sought his very life.  He took physical refuge in a cave where in the dark, most likely cold and damp earthen bunker, he offered us today a convicting example of the heart attitude befitting and desired for all of God's children.

When I Just Want to Stop...

In all circumstances, God's goal for His children is for them to be open to Him, willing to inexhaustibly share each and every fleeting or nagging burden of their heart.  David "cried" unto the Lord, pouring out his complaint to Him.  I find when I'm tired, I certainly don't want an open discussion with anyone - sadly at times, not even with the Lord.  I'm too tired.

The truth is, however, I'm too tired NOT to talk to the Lord.  It's exhausting keeping burdens to oneself.  Not only is it emotionally, mentally and physically draining it is divisive.  When you don't communicate with others, you silently drive a wedge between yourself and those you love and vice versa.  Homes, relationships and fragile hearts easily disintegrate under such long term conditions.

Let's Try It...


As I've been writing this article over the past few days, I indeed have been tired.  I'm a full time student - but so is my wife!  The pressures and stresses of our life are great; most likely, so are yours, simply with different "window dressing" put on them.  In particular, finances were in focus, a regular ticking time bomb in many households worldwide!

Tensions began to run high as the unexpected conversation pressed onward.  As a myriad of thoughts and emotions slowly trickled into my mind, clouding my discernment and heavily weighing upon my judgments, I praise the Lord, that these verses were close to my mind as they encouraged me to take each and every one of these emotions to the Father for His comfort, strength and wisdom.

Yes - of course I was tired.  I didn't really want to talk at all.  However, aware of the consequences of not talking coupled with such Scripture as this passage, I took a "break" to speak to the Lord.  Elevating my circumstances to His open ears and heart, comforted my weary heart and strengthened my overwhelmed state.

No, my circumstances did not change a bit; the same issues were still at hand.  What did change, however, was my perspective.  Through the power of Jesus Christ from the truth of His living Word, I was able to more graciously and tenderly, after the manner of Christ (Phil. 2), approach my also burdened, weary and fearful spouse.  Do I really need to say that things went much better and were far more effective?

Here's the Point...


When we are tired, as we discussed at length previously, we don't want to talk or work through any problems that may arise.  It's in these moments that we must talk the most!  We must actually talk things through twice.  First and foremost, take it to the Lord as the fugitive David did.  Perhaps you feel as if your spouse won't truly listen to you - and perhaps this indeed is true - God is willing and wanting to not only listen to you but also strengthen, comfort and teach you.

Only after spending time with Him, are we able to most effectively approach our loved one.  If they are willing, the situation is that much better.  If they are not a willing participant or of an obstinate demeanor, how much more must you rely upon the strength of the Lord!

No matter the situation, to advance forward most effectively, talk it through twice - with the Lord and your loved one.  Never with just option A or B.  Never out of this order.  Seek the Savior.  Lovingly open communication with your family member.

Now for You...


Prayer, indeed, ought to be a Christian's first instinct.  Our emotions, however at times, can cloud such a response, muddying the waters of communication.  I challenge you, just as I continually challenge myself, to seek the Lord at this very instant over ALL that burdens your heart.  Pour all of your complaints out to Him.  Then, as the Lord opens windows of opportunity, talk through it again with your spouse or whomever.

In your home life, seek to always talk it through twice.

taken from A Treasury for the Home

Recipe for Conviction

It's been far too long since I've published a blog posting.  It's not that I haven't been working on it - I have a whole folder of drafts and ideas.  Yet, none of them are "ready" yet.  I have some really exciting ideas coming up; Lord, willing, you'll get to share in them soon enough.  However, an event - small and minuscule - occurred yesterday which has forced me to really evaluate the current status of my heart and attitude.  I share it with you now. 

Recipe for Conviction

Layer 1:

Candace and I were sitting in lecture yesterday morning for Anatomy and Physiology.  As Candace glanced at my notes she innocently remarked to me that one of my diagrams was incorrect (by the way, Art 101 should be a prerequisite for Anatomy - we draw a lot).  My defenses immediately sprung into action.  In a hushed but fervent whisper in competition with the Professor continuing on in the front of the room, I laid out a thorough explanation of my drawing.  Candace, surprised and taken back, gently responded, "You don't take correction very well, do you?...You don't have to always be right...and by the way, the Professor then redrew and corrected her diagram."  

I was wrong but without admittance we both offered muted smiles.  The issue was dropped.  Yet, my pride still stood.  Granted, I did have a slight moment of softening, twinged with guilt for my harsh response, all unbeknown to Candace, however.

Layer 2

Hours later, during our commute home...amidst rush hour traffic, Candace made what should have been interpreted as a fun, frivolous quip to me about something insignificant (so trivial I can't even remember the nature of it a day later - Candace probably can, though; she's talented that way  :) ).  However, I harshly reacted.  My defenses were in full regalia once again.  I believe my patient and far more gracious than myself wife began to notice a pattern with me and my reactions to her.  She simply informed me that she would no longer be joking with me like she had.  (Of course - after losing several appendages, why offer up another limb as sacrifice for me to "bite off" with my words?)

Layer 3

Now we're putting the cherry on top of the Sundae, for by this point, I had already created a sticky, ooey-gooey mess of syrup and sauces.  We were in bed for the evening, winding down with our favorite show "The Biggest Loser."  

Now for the full significance of this, let me explain to you a little bit about my idiosyncrasies.  I sing and hum incessantly.  As a courtesy to those around me - okay, most - around me who don't necessarily appreciate it or finding it highly annoying, I try to keep it to a minimum.  I always have a song in my head even if I'm not expressing it.  In response to every commercial jingle that comes my way, I'm harmonizing to it.  

As we sat there according to our usual post-Wednesday-school routine, I started to hummonize the commercial.  Candace said my name in a way that expressed, "Would you please not do that right now?!"  I stopped and said nothing - for the moment.  In what I now understand and interpret as her trying to assure me of her love and offer her appreciation yet sympathy for asking me to stop something so intrinsic to me, she leaned over to give me a kiss....got your cherry ready, yet?

I barked at her as I refused her kiss, "You think you can yell at me [an emotional overstatement] and then just try to kiss me?!"   Obviously, I was wrong here.  My wife simply stopped and expressed something to the effect that she was done - not for good, not giving up, but was no longer going to continue interacting with me in the state I was in.  

That's it.  It wasn't the worst day in history.  There were no tearful pleadings before one another or even the Lord.  In fact, my wife, resilient as she is, is sitting beside me on the couch, her pleasant self, as usual.  She's so wonderful that way.  The difference is, however, that my God has gotten my attention through the patient endurance of my wife.  

I have allowed an attitude of pride to consume my heart.  I don't know why; slowly, over time, however, it has sieged my soul. (I do have some ideas why, though, but that's another blog).  I don't have to be right all of the time.  I need to receive correction or constructive criticism from my wife with grace and and open mind.  She is not out "to get me"; in fact, her deepest desire is to help me in all things as my "help meet."  Then, why do I act as though I don't need her help and shut her out, preventing her from being who God has created her to be as my wife?  Pride.  It starts with my receptivity to the Lord and translates into my home with the most intimate of relationships.  

Honey (I know you'll read this), I apologize for my harshness and insensitivity.  You only have my best interest at heart. I thank you for your undying faithfulness and devotion to me, through thick and thin, the pleasant and the painful.  In the Lord's strength I desire to be more receptive to you.  I want to be the gentle, understanding leader of our home that Christ has created me to be.  Christ, Himself, as my example, was a servant to all.  In all I do, I want to serve you.   Thank you for marrying me.  Ups and downs, I know we'd both do it all again.  I love you.

To my readers, I share this most intimate conviction of mine to encourage you.  We all get slack in how we hold and carry ourselves in regards to others, particularly those within the same walls, day in and day out.  You're struggles look different than mine do.  Yet the solution for both of us rests in the power and person of our Lord, Jesus Christ.  In dying to ourselves, He reigns in life through us.  I am praying for you, as well as myself, that we would allow Him to be formed in us, shining through to all who need Him so desperately, first and foremost in our relationships that matter the most - at home, our family, our spouses, our siblings, our parents, our children.  

"Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man." - Col. 3:6

 "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves"  - Phil. 2:3

I Prefer Paper Towels

"Ye are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.  Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." - Matthew 5:14-16

 Do you remember the childhood Sunday School song, "This little light of mine"?  Most do.  I certainly do.  Not only have I always enjoyed singing it, but it has always impressed a great truth upon my heart: God wants me to stand out for Him and I therefore shouldn't be afraid to shine for Him, lighting the way to Him for others.  Such a simple song carries quite a punch when we really think about it.

Did you also take notice, however, to the emboldened words above?  Christ, in His parable, I believe is alluding to a distinction between two audiences who are to behold our light: those "in the house" (a phrase very well known to the House of Israel), and all other "men."  We could parallel this today in the age of His grace as believers, Christians,  and unbelievers, non-Christians. 

Paul draws upon this when he spoke to the Corinthians as he was about to explain their calling in Christ to be His ambassadors (i.e. shining lights as representatives in a foreign land).  He tells them, "Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are made manifest unto God; and I trust also are made manifest in your consciences" (2 Cor. 5:11).  We stand with our light evident before 3 individuals or groups here: first God, then believers ("manifest in your consciences," the Christian recipients of the letter) and finally unbelievers (the "men").

Why do I go through all of this today?  Simple. It's because I believe, deep down - where the rubber meets the road - we most often forget about at least one of these "target" audiences.  One month, we may be super burdened for the "lost" or those who haven't placed their faith in Jesus Christ as the payment for their sins.  As we focus to that end, we easily lose sight of the other areas God desires us to focus on as well - fellow believers and Him!

Don't get me wrong, please!  Focusing and having a deep burden of the Lord for any of these 3 groups of people is a wonderfully good thing.  Let's not, however, substitute good things for the greatest things.  Three times, the Apostle Paul exhorts us to "walk worthy" of all God has given us and desires of us (Eph. 4:1; Col. 1:10; 1 Thess. 2:12).  To walk worthy literally means to be balanced, walking "in line" with what I've been given and what's required of me - just like the circus act walking "in line" balancing on the super-sky-high tight rope!  If they are to slip and walk out of line - we know what would happen.  Praise the Lord for nets!  Praise Him even more for His grace that provides a safety net for us when we fall out of line of walking worthy of our calling.  His net saves us, protects us and allows us to get back on the tight rope, walking in line with Him again.

This being said, our lives are to be balanced all around.  We mustn't focus on encouraging fellow believers alone - a good thing, but also focus on our own relationship with the Lord and helping those who don't have a relationship at all with God to seek one!  Balance.

Confession is good for the soul, so here goes:  I'm out of balance.  I like to focus on 2 of the 3 groups to the demise of the other.  I've been doing a lot of thinking about this lately.  I believe it's because I've come to prefer paper towels.  Let me explain.

Paper towels are known for being absorbent.  They soak things up.  I know that my God "soaks up"  all of the time I offer Him.  He greatly delights in the offering of my open heart to Him (Ps.. 51:17; 1 Sam. 15:22).  This must be first and foremost.  As we center upon this relationship - our Source for all things - we are then able to turn outward and share all that God has done and is doing in our lives.  Likewise, there are those around us who, like paper towels, soak up what we share regarding the Lord.  This, most often, happens to be fellow Christians.

Paul likens us to "earthen vessels" in 2 Corinthians 4:7 - clay pots, mud jugs.  As He fills us with His truth,  grace and empowerment, it overflows from our vessel to those around us.  Just as in the kitchen when we have something overflow from our cup to the counter beneath, we use a paper towel to soak it up.  I like paper towels because they make my job easier.

Spiritually speaking, God's working in our lives overflows and those around us see this.  They can either reject this or they can receive it - soaking it up!  In my personal experience, the group of people that this most often applies is fellow Christians, believers who have an open heart to God, desiring to soak up His truth and comfort.  I love to "spill" my spiritual heart around these people because they are paper towels; they will soak it up and receive it, appreciating it (like you, however is reading this blog right now).  What I don't like is messes - sharing what God is doing and it falling on deaf ears.  I don't like leaving spilled drink on the counter.

Truth is, however, that whenever we are sharing Him to both the lost and found, we can't control how they receive it.  We are asked to moreover be "faithful" (1 Cor. 4:2).  We must be thankful for the paper towels that God sends along our way through the years.  We must focus on our relationship with Him, allowing Him to shine through us, overflowing to those around us despite who receives it or not.  Remember, water can't be soaked up if it's never spilled.  We are asked to be faithful to spill - share His love, His gospel and His Word with fellow believers and those who yet need His salvation.

I am burdened to not only spill in safety from now on - that is only near paper towels who will soak up my overflow.  I desire to shine for Him to those who are dead in their sins, blinded from the goodness and salvation of God.  I pray for boldness in standing for Him towards those that are "without."  I pray for His strengthening and empowerment.

One final perspective...

I've spilled things before in the kitchen.  I get busy, side tracked and get moved away from the spill before I get to clean it up.  That is to say, someone else comes along and absorbs the spill with a paper towel and I didn't even know about it.  In a very real way, this is how things work when we share Christ with others - both believers and non-believers.  We plant the seed - make the spill, but "God gives the increase" in His timing.  He is the One that works in the others hearts to receive what we've shared (1 Cor. 3:5-7).  Let's each desire to be faithful in "planting" and "spilling" Jesus Christ to those in our world.  Leave the results to Him.  Let us be faithful.

P.S.  Thanks for being a paper towel.  You encourage me.

My Time

We live in a very self-adoring, glorifying and centered society.  At one point in recent years (I'm not sure if it's the current slogan or not) you could "get it your way" at Burger King.  Numerous ads through the years have been launched touting, "This is my time"  to succeed, lose weight, gain the victory, become number one, etc.  With overwhelming media bombarding our homes, hearts and minds at every turn and angle joined with the ever quickening pace of digital technology at our all-too-ready fingertips, it seems as if there if very little recourse for the soul that seeks to stand apart from the crowd and not focus merely on themselves. 

As a member of such a society, I must plead guilty to having succumbed to such a philosophy and attitude from time to time.  Okay...moment of honesty, here....I share this attitude with the world around me far more than I ever truly realize!  I plead guilty, indeed, for it is against God's desired and designed way for us to live our lives before Him and the world around us! 

Satan shared this same "self" sin; in fact, it was the very reason that he fell from God's esteem and rebelled against the Creator of all.  Isaiah recounts his demise to which we can also succumb: "For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High" (Is. 14:13-14).   Lucifer then infected Adam and Eve with his sick syndrome enticing them to disobey God's simple command so that they too could say, "[I wil] be as gods, knowing good and evil" (Gen. 3:5).  Sound familiar?  It's the same exact phrase expressed from the soul of Satan!  As a result, this same destructive legacy has been passed to each and every human descending from Adam and Eve - which would be us all (Rom. 5:12, 19).  

Now we can see our present world through the filter of God's Word.  The way things are is not how they should be!  God desires that we, as the redeemed through Christ's blood, should seek the things of others above ourselves according to the pattern of Christ, Himself (Phil. 2:3-11).  Now, we come to the truly personal stuff.  

Yesterday, I started a new semester of classes.  As much as I haven't been looking forward to the crazy schedule, the added stress and the long commutes, I truly have been eager to learn the inner-workings of the human body (I'm taking Anatomy and Physiology).  Being the first day of school, I truly was expecting a decent day.  Boy, was I naive to what was to befall me! Let's get an overview:

• Candace and I bickered over driving directions and traffic maneuvering through Orlando, morning rush hour traffic (a fault more to my credit than hers)
• Being just a few minutes late for our first class (see bullet 1)
• standing in line for over an hour and half for the 1 book we couldn't get before hand, nor get anywhere else as it was specific to our school and class (gotta love college textbook racketeering - another blog, another day)
• sitting in a huge mound of peanut butter and proudly touting my "sticky buns" for several hours until Candace noticed I hadn't completely cleaned the entire mess up (PTL, however, that at least I can finally fit into the jeans again after all of the Christmas goodies)
• my new cup that Candace got me for our Anniversary fell on the ground and shattered all over - it was my favorite!
• and so many other "little things" that added up to a whole bunch of frustration!

As I walked in the rain across campus muttering in my mind (man, they don't make movies this dramatic do they?)  I grappled with the Lord in my spirit.  Didn't I deserve at least a good first day of class?  My plans were far greater for the day; I expected to get a lot more accomplished in my coursework than  dirty jeans.  "My time is much more valuable and precious than this," I thought.

Through this all, my Great God, brought conviction to my troubled heart.  What is your time?  My time is short, fleeting and uncertain. Who has given you this time? You have, Father. Why? To glorify You in all that I do and share Your truth, light and salvation to all the world.  What are you doing with this time, however?  I'm not redeeming it.  I'm pitying myself, focused on my desires and not Yours.  How can this change?  I need Your power strengthening me.  I need You to work through me to do all that is required of me by You and the world that is around me...like life. 

Hallelujah - my God delivered me and rushed my hardened heart with His grace, peace and strength!  Don't get me wrong - I still found myself muttering as each progressively stupid thing happened to me, but I took it back to my Father and placed it before Him, looking for Him to help me through it.  He did. 

In the time since, I've done some studying in His Word regarding the philosophy of "my time" that I was carrying in my heart.  This phrase is found in Scripture only 4 times.  The majority of them, 3, are all in reference to Jesus Christ as He referred to "my time" (cf. John 7:6,8; Matt. 26:18).  The final remaining one does indeed refer to men, but in a contrary way, "Remember how short my time is: wherefore hast thou made all men in vain?" (Ps. 89:47).  A very striking picture is presented here for us.  The time that is given to us individually is short and subject to great vanity.  Our time, however, in Christ is to be "redeemed" (2 Cor. 6:1-2; Eph. 5:16; Col. 4:5) as it belongs to Him. 

I now offer the same question to you, that the Lord purged my heart with yesterday:  "What are you doing with My time?" 

Don't make me repeat myself...repeat myself!

Fill in the blank:  How many times have I told you to...not to...!  We've all most assuredly been on both the giving and receiving end of such statements. 

Countless parents in exasperation have echoed their repeated caveats to seemingly deaf ears.  Siblings have thrown down the gauntlet using such exclamations.  Tired and exhausted spouses reveal their frustration with an unspoken but an unmistakeably communicated "I can't handle this one more time!" 

I understand the desperation that is so easily accompanied with such statements.  We quickly grow weary of repeating ourselves.  In the context of this frustration, I share with you a truth that has so greatly convicted my heart today.

"Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord.  To write the same things to you, to me indeed is not grievous, but for you it safe." - Phil. 3:1

A verse popularly and frequently visited by parents, teachers and pastors alike regarding the overall importance and value of  repetition and review, these words sprang into new colorful, meaningful and impacting form within my heart and mind this morning.  The point is well understood that it is quite advantageous for the recipient to here the statement multiple times.

As I'm currently a student again, I am living this daily.  Candace and I have left lectures so thoroughly perplexed about what was just presented we would jokingly say, "I'm so lost, I don't even know what I'm confused about!"  We needed review and repetition (along with several heaping portions of clarification).  I remember the professor, upon our inquiring, becoming so frustrated because we at times just couldn't grasp what he was saying.  He would therefore give up and move on, leaving us to our confusion. 

The Apostle Paul comforted the Phillipian saints, "Don't worry.  It's no problem to me at all to help you grasp this most essential spiritual necessity for your life!"  Literally, he said that it is "not grievous."  My revelation came in the realization that when I am forced to at times repeat myself, I all too often find it exceedingly grievious.  I am put out by it.  It inconveniences me.  Dare I say that it offends me; I'm better than this, right? 


I specifically refer to my interactions in my marriage.  Overall, I would view myself as a gentle, tender and caring man, sensitive to the needs of my wife - at least in the big things.....sometimes...well, at least that's my heart's intent.  The problem, as it usually is, lies in the small things, the seemingly insignificant day to day happenings. 

Reality, however, reveals that I can be gruff, coarse, callused and insensitive, whether intentional or not, towards those closest to me in my life, particularly my wife.  Do situations like this take place in your home? 

Spouse 1:  We talked about that last week, don't you remember?
Spouse 2:  Nope, I'm sorry.  Could you please refresh my memory?
Spouse 1:  (With great and dramatic sighs) I guess, but I can't believe you don't remember. We were...

To my shame, I have played the role of Spouse 1 all too many times.  In those moments, my attitude and actions cry out that simply repeating myself "indeed is...grievous"!  In the end, I boil this all down to selfishness.  Yes, at times, Spouse 2 may be culpable to an extent for not remembering, nevertheless we are accountable to Lord for our attitudes and responses.  Sadly enough, most of these scenarios are so insignificant.  In fact, I've even gotten bent out of shape simply because my wife couldn't hear me due to her physical surroundings (i.e. too much noise to where she literally could not hear me).  I know it's ludicrous, but the conviction of the Holy Spirit testifies that I indeed have gone there before.

It's my prayer for both you and myself that we would continually adapt Paul's non-grievous mindset when we deal with loved ones in all things, in the significant and trivial alike.  

"Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man." -Col. 4:6 

The Martyr List

Martyr-  a person who is put to death or endures great suffering on behalf of any belief, principle, or cause

Throughout the annals of history, countless men and women have endured great loss and suffered much affliction on behalf of others including the greatest payment of death.  Martin Luther and William Tyndale are but two outstanding examples standing along side many of the great Apostles of the Scriptures. 

Occasionally (OK, you've got me - far more often than I'd like to admit on paper), I like to add myself to the list, particularly at home.  Now of course I've never suffered death on behalf of my Bride.  In fact, I have yet to ever truly endure physical pain as a service to her (beyond the many DIY projects gone horribly wrong, that is).  Nevertheless, my list of service deserving of martyrdom merit rivals Fox's Book of Martyrs and is daily being revised and edited! 

How then do I join the hallowed halls of martyrdom?  Easily.  Every time my love sweetly asks me to do something I really don't want to do, yet I still do it, points appear on my imagined spiritual scorecard.  When I let her believe that she is right even though I know she is dead wrong I earn double miles on my account.  And so on...

Exaggerated, perhaps, but in the heat of the moment, my pulsing emotions and racing thoughts  certainly travel along these lines helping me to arrive at such ludicrous conclusions!  How then, could I possibly rise above such a vicious, downward spiraling cycle? 

"For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.  But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  - Rom. 5:7-8

"Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.  Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:...[who] being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." -Phil. 2:4-5, 8

By the power of the Lord Jesus Christ.  According to the testimony and pattern of Christ as set forth for us by Paul's pen.   Jesus Christ is the Martyr - the One who lived a perfect life, undeserving of death, who yet willingly suffered death upon our behalf.  We, who were wicked, vile and dead in our sins - the complete opposite of all He created us for and to be - were absolutely undeserving of His great and sacrificial love, yet He has lavishly bestowed it upon us, freely!  It's according to this mold that my Father asks me to fashion my life and home.

The call of God's grace reaches deep within our souls, touching every facet of our lives.  God has not specifically nor on a daily basis asked us today to be His martyrs, physically dying for Him.  Indeed it could happen; however, He desires something far greater and yes, more difficult - to physically live for Him as a servant. 

Would you join me in endeavoring to follow Christ's example of servant hood sans martyrdom?  Will you serve Him during the day at work or school? at church with your fellow brothers and sisters?  at home with your spouse, children or parents?  There's no need to keep a list (at least of what you've done) but rather bear in mind what He has already done for us.  Let's serve Him, no strings attached.